by Lisa Alexander
Most parents just feel helpless. They want the best for their
kids, but in spite of everything we know about nutrition and
exercise, most parents hope for the best and do little about
their overweight kids.
My daughter Pari was small at birth, but quickly became a heavy
baby. By the age of two, our pediatrician began intimating that
Pari was putting on more weight than she needed. Until
kindergarten, kids from our neighborhood, her day care or
nursery school accepted Pari just as she was, and her size never
came up. But when she started school, there was a whole new set
of kids, and some would make comments about Pari's size.
Some were innocent observations; some comments were just down
right mean. In first grade she was invited to a slumber party of
a new friend, and told me she would be uncomfortable changing in
front of the other girls because she was fat. This was a
shocking moment for me, because now I understood that she felt
badly about herself, that she had been giving thought to her
size, and comparing herself to other children. What could I do?
In my case, there were few resources, but that has changed.
As the author of Seven Steps to Get Your Child's Weight on Track
and creator of The Pari Plan, it's clear to me that parents
don't understand the pivotal role they play in the solution to a
child's weight problem. In helping families across the country
beat childhood obesity, I've identified the three crucial
mistakes that parents make and the key actions parents must take
to get control and start their child on the path to improvement:
Mistake #1: "She's Not Heavy." This is plain denial. Many
parents refuse to be honest with themselves about their child's
weight. They see the beautiful perfection of their child and
turn a blind eye to a problem that is likely causing emotional
pain in their child's life lowering the child's self-esteem and
getting in the way of their child achieving her true potential.
Action Plan: Learn what a healthy weight for your child should
be. Compare where your child is to where your child needs to be.
Acknowledge this goal openly.
Mistake #2: "He'll grow out of it." If only parents knew:
Studies show that 50% of obese school-aged children will become
obese adults. Children WON'T grow out of their weight problem.
Action Plan: You don't need to put your child on a crash diet,
but you do need to get them on a healthy path with better food
choices and exercise activities that will help them as they
grow. Losing weight is not rocket science. But changing the
habits and lifestyle of a family in today's busy world is
difficult. Especially when the emotional well being of a fragile
overweight child is at stake, parents need a plan and they need
perseverance.
The good news is that the easiest time to get your child on
track is between the ages of 4-12 when they are growing and
still totally reliant upon their parents for their food and
activity.
Mistake #3: "I've Tried Everything." Most parents simply give
up. They may try something but usually not the right things - in
the right way. Then they give up.
Action Plan: The secret is that you must put it all together in
the correct way and you must commit to being successful. You
must acknowledge that you are the only one that can make the
difference and you must rally your entire family around your
child's success. You can have a healthy child but only if you
decide to make it the number one priority in your life.
As a mother of an overweight child, I made all these mistakes
and more. I've experienced the helplessness and heartbreak a
parent feels watching their child struggle with weight. But
there is an important flipside to that pain: The joy of helping
your child shed their weight, build their self-esteem and
realize the potential you always knew they had.
About the author:
Lisa Alexander is the creator of "The PariPlan-Seven Steps to
Get Your Child's Weight on Track," complete tools, activities
and simple steps for parents to reduce their children's weight
while building self esteem. You can learn more at The PariPlan
